Sistahs We Need to Talk: How Do We Protect You?

Senator Corey Booker was magnificent defending the honor and judicial record of Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson during her senate confirmation hearings last month in Washington D.C.

“The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman.” -Malcolm X

At this point, I’m trying to move forward. We all have picked sides regarding the Will Smith/Chris Rock situation like it’s the Cubs and White Sox. Like those baseball games, it has been heated; friends fighting friends, family members not being invited to cookouts anymore. It is getting nuts. But truth be told this is a conversation that has been needed for decades. How do brothas defend sistahs?

My best friend from college, who has a degree in history and philosophy, theorizes that slavery and Jim Crow has done something to Black men and women that still sits with us in 2022. During those treacherous times, Black men attempting to defend the honor and bodies of Black women were often beaten, jailed, maimed or killed in the most gruesome way. As a result, Black men were at times forced to pick survival and Black women had to endure some of the most humiliating, inhumane, degrading acts ever forced on other humans in history. While one can understand some Black men’s reluctance to fight when they may have had children to protect as well, there is also a point where dying is better than living on your knees. My buddy theorizes that many Black women hold a subconscious resentment towards Black men because some of the decisions that were made in the past. Is it possible that through the generations some sistahs may question the Black man’s ability as a protector?

Is this why the Will Smith/Chris Rock debate is touching a nerve with so many in the Black community? Some feel as though Will stood up for his queen, damn the awards and what white people thought of it. Others feel as though Will was way out of line and there was a better way to handle it. Some feel he embarrassed Black people, even though Russia and Ukraine is just the latest example showing white people behaving violently towards one another.

I personally can only imagine the emotions Jada felt when she heard that joke by Rock. I saw a Black woman who looked hurt by a tasteless joke coming from a person she at one time considered a friend. I saw a husband who took one look at his wife’s demeanor and who perhaps remembers how painful alopecia is to deal with and he just lost it. It is important to note that Will and Chris have also been friends for years, so to have your FRIEND say something about your WIFE just raises the ante.

Standing up for a Black women is vital and yet we must recognize there are so many ways in which it can be done. There is no one-fit solution. I think about what was happening last month at the senate confirmation hearings for Supreme Court Justice nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson. To be questioned by incompetent white men, who don’t even come close to having the credentials for their own jobs that Judge Jackson has for her profession had to be emotionally excruciating experience for her as they sat in their privileged chairs and passed judgment. Sen. Corey Booker, in his eloquent words of affirmation to her, justified her legitimacy, validated her dignity as a queen and momentarily protected her after the onslaught of political verbal attacks. His actions were appropriate for that environment, but had he stood up and slapped someone I wouldn’t have been mad at him either.

Michigan politician Rep. Sarah Anthony is protected by a civilian Black man in 2020 after racist militia members in the state were threatening politicians and the FBI arrested a number of members planning to kidnap the state’s governor.

When I think back to Jan. 6, 2021 when seditionists stormed the U.S. Capitol and more domestic terrorists were planning similar attacks on state Capitol’s around the country, the image of Michigan state Rep. Sarah Anthony in 2020 being guarded by armed Black men just so she can do her work, brought a smile to my face. There were a large number of armed white militia members carrying racist and anti-semetic signs, along with guns, attempting to intimidate lawmakers from doing their duty in Lansing. These brothas were having none of it and volunteered to keep Rep. Anthony safe. They fulfilled their duty, walking her through a gauntlet of racists with guns, thus continuing a tradition that Black men and women often did during the Jim Crow era, when they protected NAACP and SNCC leaders.

I am currently finishing up the book “Negroes and the Gun” by Dr. Nicholas Johnson. In it are dozens of cited historical stories about Black people defending themselves in the United States. Men protecting other men. Men protecting women and women protecting themselves. The truth of the matter is that throughout our history in the United States, Black people have always protected one another. The manner in which we have been able to effectively protect one another has evolved as the society, laws and circumstances have allowed. We are currently in the best place we’ve ever been in our history here in America, but we still have a long way to go and sometimes the rules get murky on how best to go about our task of protection.

Malcolm X in 1964 peering out the curtains at his home in New York City protecting his wife and daughters from death threats the family was receiving. He would be murdered a few months later in February of 1965 in front of them at the Audubon Ballroom in Harlem.

I am encouraging all men, if they haven’t done so already, to sit their wife or girlfriend down and have a quiet, truthful one-on-one conversation about protection: how best to go about it and what protection is needed. I think too often men only think sistahs need protection from potential physical attacks. However, the truth is, Black women face threats on the daily. They are shortchanged in salary compared to their white counterparts. They must endure insulting comments from men. They have verbally abusive family members. They have disrespectful adult children. They have girlfriends who are in misery and who love company. Their educational credentials are challenged. Their love is often taken for granted. Protecting Black women is a full-time job and it can become overwhelming for one man to handle. So having this conversation with your woman is vital. Having a plan to attack some of these things before they occur is the key to success. Because trying to figure things on the fly can lead to what we saw at the Oscars last Sunday night. 

Will Smith felt he had no choice but to protect the honor of his queen from an unnecessary, un-funny and tasteless joke from Chris Rock in front of the entire world. The manner in which he did it can and should be debated. But the fact is, he did it, which for me is not up for debate.