Guys, It’s Okay to Play Second Fiddle to an Icon
Controversy erupted last week when the husband of Olympic Gold Medalist Simone Biles gave an interview on a sports podcast and made comments that sent social media into overdrive. Jonathan Owens, who plays football for the Green Bay Packers, claims his wife chased him and admitted he had no idea who she was when she first contacted him via a dating app. The public was not impressed and questioned his claims, with some calling for Biles to divorce Smith at the worst, with others seeing him as a red flag at the least. While the overreaction to a young couple discussing their relationship in public is no surprise in 2023, Mr. Owens could learn a lot from other men who are married, to high-profile, rich women.
Just about everyone knows Vice President Kamala Harris. However if you asked people to name her husband, even if you were going to give them a million dollars, few would be able to do it. Attorney Douglas Emhoff has been married to our VP since 2015. He is a successful man in his own right, just like Mr. Owens, yet how often have we heard from the nation’s first Second Husband in the past three years? You may see him at a few political events escorting his wife, but that is about it. He doesn’t go around talking about their relationship in public and doesn’t really comment on anything in general.
Owens’ most controversial statement was “I’m the prize,” setting off a fury from Biles’ fans with many firing back they don’t even know who he is (a fair point.) The public, if they do know him, know him mostly as her husband only because she has been on the sidelines during Packers games, not because his is an All-Pro player. I don’t know Mr. Owens’ heart or motive for saying what he said. What I will say is nobody who criticized him wants to see the young Black couples’ marriage fail. If anything, Biles’ fans are more protective over her because we all know she was sexually assaulted by the now incarcerated Larry Nassar.
What I will say though is Mr. Owens, has to be more careful with his comments in interviews. He has to understand who he is married to. She’s a multi-millionaire, world icon, who has transformed her sport. She has won multiple championships and is arguably the greatest gymnast of all time. That includes her being on the Wheaties box cover and nailing several endorsement deals that will provide for their family forever, if managed correctly. It would be laughable to compare their athletic careers so I won’t.
It is not a bad gig if you can get it, being the husband of Biles, a GYMNAST, who would be a much sought after prize by men. I say again, SHE’S A GYMNAST, something that fits into most men’s fantasies if we are keeping it real here. Biles didn’t seem bothered by the comments at the time as she was sitting right next to her husband during the interview. Her only reaction was rolling her eyes and giving the “whatever look,” while smiling, which indicates to me she was cool with it and figured he was just feeling himself in the moment.
Mr. Owens is a young guy and hasn’t been married even a year, so he should be given grace by the public even with the fair criticisms. Celebrities often have failed relationships in part because of public pressure. For men who are married to celebrities, they have to be more tactful with their words and actions. He made a rookie mistake, one that he probably won’t do again as his wife has now had to enter the fray on social media to quell some of the comments. I can only imagine the conversation that has taken place between the two of them since this whole thing began.
Country singer Dolly Parton and her husband Carl Dean Thomas have been married since 1966. Parton said her husband prefers being in the background. Photo from Dolly Parton Instagram.
Perhaps the best example Mr. Owens can follow is iconic country music singer Dolly Parton’s marriage. Do you know her husband’s name? Neither did I. While researching this article, I was stunned to learn they have been married 57 years! Carl Thomas Dean married Parton in 1966. In a recent article with Southern Living, Parton explained why her husband doesn’t do interviews and won’t accompany her to public events. Mr. Dean owns a successful asphalt company in Tennessee. This what he had to say decades ago after attending an awards ceremony with his wife:
“He went to one thing with me early on, when we first married, to a BMI Song of the Year [event], and he came out of there taking off his tuxedo, his tie and all that and said, ‘Don't ever ask me to go to another one of these damn things because I ain't going.’ I never asked him and he never did,” Parton told What Would Dolly Do? Radio on Apple Music 1.
How great is it that Mr. Dean is willing to sit back and enjoy the ride of his wife’s success and the lifestyle it provides for them. It seems as though Mr. Dean understood early on he will never reach the fame, economic power and success his wife has, but that he still can make measurable impacts on society by just running his own business and being a good husband. No ego, just love. No need to talk about it, just be about it.
Now I know professional athletes have huge egos. Hell football in general is an alpha male sport so most who play the game at a high level are not short on confidence or self-esteem. Knowing this, it really didn’t surprise me too much about what Owens said about “being the prize.” He makes a living playing a violent sport and must have that attitude in order to succeed. He will have to learn how to channel some of that though if he plans on continuing to do interviews about his marriage. It can put unnecessary stress on their relationship. With Biles set to compete in Paris for the Olympics next year, he is going to have more cameras thrusted into his face than ever before as she goes for more gymnastic records.
Daniel Smith and his wife WNBA star and Olympic Gold Medalist Skylar Diggins-Smith have two children.
With that said, perhaps Owens could take notes from a former college football player who is married to one of the most popular athletes in the WNBA. Skylar Diggins-Smith and her husband Daniel Smith married in Chicago at the Museum of Contemporary Art in June of 2017. The couple began dating when both were student-athletes at Notre Dame University. Smith and Diggins are both from South Bend, Indiana. Smith had a mediocre college football career before an injury ended it. Diggins-Smith started building her brand in college and was getting tweets from rapper Little Wayne because of her skills on the court and her natural beauty. She led her team to the national championship game and has had a very successful pro career.
Who Diggins was dating was one of the most sought after questions as her popularity began to rise. She then signed with Jay-Z’s Roc Nation upon being drafted into the WNBA and has been a big earner in endorsements ever since. But don’t sell Mr. Smith short. Brother is a successful artist and reportedly has a net worth of his own of about $400,000. Like Parton’s husband, Smith isn’t in the limelight. You may see him at his wife’s games, but for the most part he is a ghost.The couple has two young children, so perhaps that is how he enjoys spending his time. The point is, he stays out of his wife's way and supports her. With six years in the marriage game, I wish for the continued success of the Smith’s. I wish the same for Owens and Biles. Stuff happens in life and marriage, just be ready to fix it.